


Dressed to Kill

by breeeliss



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Assassins AU, F/F, Heavy flirting, I don't know where I"m going with this so keep an eye on the tags, Non-Explicit Sexual Content, One-Shot Collection, One-Shot Series, Suggestive Themes, some violence, this is mostly gratuitous and stress induced try not to take it too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 06:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10714230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breeeliss/pseuds/breeeliss
Summary: “You got a fucking manicure before a job?”Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”Chlonette Assassins AU





	Dressed to Kill

**Author's Note:**

> im really procrastinating this essay right now

“You got a fucking manicure before a _job?”_

Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”

Marinette rolled her eyes and peeked around the corner, staring at the two guards stationed at the door at the other end of the courtyard. She finished screwing her suppressor onto her own gun and checked her pockets for her compression gloves. “So if some asshole has me in a chokehold, you’re _not_  going to punch him in the face because you have to protect your goddamn gel manicure?”

“I never said that,” Chloe groaned. “Obviously I’d clock him straight in the nose, but I will expect you to pay for my replacement manicure since you shouldn’t be getting yourself into that situation in the first place.”

“Oh _nice.”_

“I’m a single woman, I deserve to pamper myself, sue me.”

Marinette fastened the velcro of her gloves and counted the knives she had strapped to her thigh. “That’s your own fault. I offered to sleep with you literally last week and you said no.” She checked her watch. “Shifts change in 3 minutes.”

“Roger,” Chloe replied automatically. “Also, fuck you, you told me you’d sleep with me because, and I quote, you found my dry spell ‘cripplingly pathetic.’”

“I mean, it is. Offer still stands,” Marinette winked. 

“Please, if anyone’s going to be doing the fucking, it’s going to be me,” Chloe snarled. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, tapped around her apps, and brought up full schematics of the building they were about to sneak into. “Alya just sent us a map. Adrien says lights out in 30.”

“Perfect.” Marinette readjusted the duffle bag on her back. “Any place that’ll give me a clean shot?”

“Probably the trophy room,” Chloe said. “We might have to clear out the third floor though. I’ll do it. Give you time to set up the sniper and should still leave us a 5 minute leeway until the target comes into range.”

Marinette nodded. Clean and simple job, just how she liked it. “Alright. Moving in 2. Also, you’re the pillow queen to end all pillow queens. I think we know which one would do the fucking.”

“Um, I’m an _amazing_  lesbian,” Chloe insisted. “Half the reason my arms are toned is because I do my fair share of the work.”

“You get _frequent manicures_ and grow out your nails. How is that being an amazing lesbian?”

“I’m sorry that you’re so low maintenance that you have to depend on your fingers. _Some_  of us have an arsenal of other devices that can happily do the work and then some.”

Marinette nodded. “Ah, strap-on queen. Sexy.”

“Marinette, shut the fuck up.”

“Oh come on,” she laughed. “Since when are you shy about talking about sex?”

“Since we’re on an _assignment_.”

“We have 90 seconds to kill.”

Chloe rolled her eyes but Marinette saw the smile at the corner of her lips. “I would only sleep with you if bought me dinner first. _And_  you would have to swear allegiance to me, complement me at least four times a day, and worship my body at every available opportunity.”

Marinette snorted. “How about this? You do a good job for me? I’ll buy you dinner, a hotel room, your own bottle of wine, and an entire evening to do whatever you want with me.”

Chloe lifted a brow and whistled. “Damn. Are _you_  hitting a dry spell?”

“I’m forced to look at a hot dumb blonde all day,” Marinette said with a deadpanned stare. “What did you expect?”

“You’re such a bitch.” She jutted her chin towards the two guards who were laughing and heading back inside the building to take a break from their shift. They had a 5 minute window. “Ready when you are.”

Their assignment today wasn’t a huge deal. Alya got them a layout of the mansion, Adrien was probably sneaking out right about now after having knocked out the security system, and Chloe and Marinette were left to do the rest. 

The CEO who lived here was apparently in the center of a huge embezzling scheme. Plan was to wipe out and secure the third floor and give Marinette a base to snipe down their target and all of his affiliates as they drove up the road and came back to the mansion at exactly 8:00pm for dinner according to Alya’s information. Ideally, it would give Chloe just enough time to break into the target’s study, wipe his computer clean of information, and hopefully give them more info on who else was involved in this nonsense. Then, it was just a matter of getting back to Adrien and his getaway car. 

Hopefully this would be done in an hour. Marinette hated working weekends. 

They both slipped in through the front doors after the stationed guards left, scanned the main room for any guards, and quickly sped up the stairs, staying low and keeping their hands on their guns. Marinette was in charge of memorizing the guard schedules, and this was around the time when everyone was switching around. Shitty security, since that meant that Chloe and Marinette had an easy time of avoiding them all while they meandered to their next posts. Marinette only had to knock out two guards on their way to the third floor. 

Eight guards. Yeah. Not subtle at all. 

“Yeah, this guy’s study is _definitely_  on this floor,” Marinette muttered as they crouched on the other side of the door that was slightly ajar and leading to southern portion of the third floor hallway. “Two birds with one stone I guess.”

“Idiot,” Chloe snorted. She pulled out her pistol in one hand and hunting knife in the other. “Alright, you want me to be practical about this or sexy about this?”

Marinette raised an amused brow. “What’s the difference?”

Chloe shrugged. “Practical is I just scope them from here in like four seconds and call it a day. Sexy is I do the job and give you a show at the same time.”

Marinette laughed. “Careful, your crush on me is showing.”

“Please. I still haven’t said yes to your little sex date.”

“You also haven’t said no,” Marinette teased. “I’ll take the sexy option while you’re offering.”

Chloe tapped the tip of her knife to her nose. “Keep your eyes on my ass, it looks _fantastic_ today.”

Marinette gave her a mock salute. “Yes, mademoiselle.” 

When they first joined the agency, Chloe was super pissed that Marinette was essentially able to kick her ass every time she popped into the gym and tried sparring with her. Marinette kept explaining it was because she had four years of mixed martial arts training under her belt, so Chloe repeatedly being knocked on her ass was nothing to be ashamed of (insert condescending wink here). So of course the petty little thing went and signed up for Taekwondo classes and turned into a badass in the span of two years. And because Chloe was an insufferable narcissist, she liked to show it off at every available opportunity. 

Though, Marinette had to admit, watching Chloe take down eight guards with nothing but a knife and some _brutal_  double roundhouse kicks _was_  pretty hot. 

Chloe slammed a guard’s head against the wall and pulled her knife out of the muscle of his upper arm, leaving him in a crumpled, motionless heap. She wiped off the blade with the edge of her shirt and stuck her tongue out at Marinette. “Scale of one to ten.”

“Solid seven. I kinda wish I had a better view of your boobs.”

Chloe huffed. “Well shit I’ll pop my chest out the next time I’m literally kicking someone’s ass.”

Marinette walked by the bodies of the guards and planted a quick kiss on Chloe’s cheek. “Thanks for cleaning up the place.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me!

“Please flattery got me _everywhere_  with you.”

“Go set up your stupid gun!”

Marinette cackled and pulled a lock picking kit out of her pocket while Chloe pulled a door jammer and a CinchLock out from her own duffle bag and quickly barricaded the door to the main hallway. For good measure, she dragged an armoire and a desk in front of the door to further deter anyone from coming in. 

Marinette kneeled in front of the trophy room and started fiddling with the lock. “Don’t you remember that time I took you out to that club last month?”

Chloe’s cheeks went red as she started picking the lock to one of the other rooms in the hallway. “Shut up...”

“Hands down the best night I’ve had all month,” Marinette exclaimed. “You dragged me off to the couches, sat in my lap, started making out with me, and stuck your hand down the front of my pants. I mean, I get we were a little drunk but  _Lord_.”

“I was thirsty, okay?” Chloe popped her door open first and sucked her teeth when it was revealed to just be a guest room. She switched to the door perpendicular to Marinette’s. “And you looked _amazing_  that night. I’m not an idiot.”

“I believe I told you that your dress made you look like a goddess,” Marinette smirked. “And then you sort of blinked at me, didn’t say anything, and pulled me off to the side. Flattery will get me nowhere my _ass_.” Marinette pushed her door open and found the trophy room that perfectly overlooked the road wrapping up the hill that led to the mansion. She yanked her duffle bag off her shoulder, kneeled by the window, and unzipped her bag.

“You think yourself so irresistible don’t you?”

Marinette started setting up the scope to her gun. “Pretty much.”

Chloe finished picking the lock to the door and cheered. “Got the fucker’s computer!! And just you wait, tonight I’ll rock your world. Then we’ll see who finds who irresistible.”

“Is that a yes to the sex date then?”

“What the hell. I could use an orgasm or four. That dinner better be spectacular though. I’m a wine and dine kind of gal.”

“Give me some credit, will you? I’m a romantic at heart.”

Marinette quickly started to set her rifle up by the window while Chloe plugged in her ear piece and had Alya talk her through how to sweep their target’s computer for anything useful. They’d wasted a bit of time fooling around in the hallway so the target and the rest of his dinner guests started rolling up along the long road quicker than Marinette had anticipated. She clicked her tongue against her teeth, peered through the scope, and started loading up bullets. “They’re coming up the hill.”

“Seriously?” Chloe groaned. She muttered something to Alya before going back to tapping away at the keyboard. “I’ll try to hurry up but no promises.”

“No need,” Marinette breathed out. “I got it.”

“Make those shots count, darling.”

Marinette snorted. “Don’t I always?” She was the best markswoman in their entire agency. If there was ever an assignment that needed a sharpshooter, Marinette was always the first on the ticket. 

She gently laid her finger on the trigger and lined up her scope so that it was pointed right in the middle of the windshield of the first car coming up the hill. She could just barely see a man that more or less matched the description of their target through the glass and lined the scope up to the center of his forehead. The moment she made this shot there was going to be a rain of bullets heading straight for her, so she needed to make this quick without being sloppy. She waited until the car stopped winding around the turn and started driving straight before she pressed down on the trigger. 

The bullet smashed through the windshield and the car immediately jolted to a screeching halt. Marinette smirked when she saw that she successfully made the shot. The driver tumbled out of the car and was already pulling a gun out of his back pocket to aim for the mansion, the only other place where a shooter could possibly be holed up. Marinette didn’t even blink before she moved her gun and made quick work of him as well. 

The other cars started coming up the hill and Marinette quickly started to recount her bullets. 3 left in the rifle. 5 on the buttstock. 10 more on the improvised shell holder she had on her left sleeve. She’d be fine so long as she didn’t miss too many shots. The next car came around the bend and she landed another bullet straight into the forehead of the other passenger. But this time, other cars behind that one were stopping and their passengers were ducking behind their car doors to create cover. Marinette waited for one of them to peek out above the car door to take a shot at her before getting them in the side of the neck. 

“Chloe!!” Marinette shouted over her own gunfire. “How are we looking?”

“Bullshit password protection and shitty encryptions. Got his emails, contacts, and business files. Sending them to Fu and waiting for him to okay it.”

“Okay,” Marinette gritted out, cursing as she missed a shot. She quickly reloaded the rifle. “No pressure. Take your time.”

“Feeling the heat, babe?”

“No, I’m doing fan _tastic!”_  A stray bullet hit the side of the window and made Marinette flinch as one of her shots went a little too wide and hit someone in the shoulder. 

Honestly. This was supposed to be her day off. She really needed to talk to Master Fu about getting other snipers to take these shitty weekend assignments. Surely seniority counted for something. 

Marinette eventually got whittled down to her last five bullets with only two more men hiding in the trees and bushes along the side of the house. She managed to get one of them in the right eye before she heard someone banging on the barricaded door at the end of the hallway. The other guards in the house already knew that they were in here. They needed to get out quick. Marinette tracked her last target who was making sure to keep low in the bushes and make shots through the trees to keep his cover. “Chloe, talk to me.”

“Fu’s got enough. I’m wiping my tracks and we’re good to go. How are you doing?”

“One more.” She heard the banging happening at the other side of the barricade becoming more insistent. Marinette rolled her eyes, stared at her last three bullets, and decided to screw it and take a chance. She purposefully aimed one of her bullets at the ground next to the bush that the last shooter was hiding behind and smiled victoriously when he dove away from his hiding spot to avoid the shot. She quickly landed her second to last bullet through his temple and immediatley started dismounting her rifle from the window. 

“How are we getting out, Chlo!?” Marinette shouted. 

“Uhhh...” Chloe hesitated, zooming in on the maps that Alya sent over. “There’s a blind spot on the west wall. Adrien says if we scale down and go straight through the trees, we’ll get to his car.”

Marinette finished packing up her rifle, kept a hand on her pistol, and darted from the room. “Told you not to get a manicure today. Your ass is gonna break a nail climbing down the side of the wall.”

“Don’t remind me.”

They snuck into the guest room that Chloe had previously opened, climbed out the window, and breathed out sighs of relief when they saw that there weren’t any guards on this side of the mansion yet. They used the gutter pipe to get down to the ground and immediately ran through the trees. Marinette could hear shouting and gunfire behind her, but she focused on keeping her head down and creating as much distance between them and the mansion as possible. 

Sure enough, they stumbled out onto a road and saw an inconspicuous black car with fake license plates parked just behind the line of trees. The back doors were already opened for them and Chloe and Marinette quickly dove into the backseats and shut the doors behind them. Adrien was already at the wheel, slamming his foot down on the pedal, and peeling onto the road and back down the hill. 

Chloe pulled out her pistol and kept it pointed out the back window in case anyone started following them. Marinette caught the phone that Adrien threw her from the front seat and pulled it to her ear. “Yes?”

“ _The information was received. I assume everything went smoothly?”_

Fu. Marinette chuckled and wiped her forehead. “More or less. We were extracted successfully. Heading back to base now.”

“ _Be ready to give a full report upon your return. Excellent work, Ladybug.”_

Marinette smirked, hung up the phone, and threw it on the seat next to her. She shoved an elbow into Chloe’s side. “Good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” Chloe sighed and slid back down on the seat next to Marinette, leaning her head on her shoulder. "God, why did our extraction point have to be at the other end of the fucking _woods?”_

 _“_ It was as close to you two as I could get,” Adrien apologized. “Besides. A good run never hurt anyone. Least of all you.”

“Leave me alone,” she muttered. Chloe held up her index finger and showed Marinette the nail that had snapped all the way down to the base. “Do you see this? Do you _see?_  Broken nail.”

“I _told_  you not to get a manicure!” Marinette repeated. “Besides, you’re a tenth of the way prepared for tonight anyway, so you might as well even yourself out.”

Adrien cackled. “Oh my God, wait, are you guys hooking up again?”

Chloe scowled. “What’s it to you?”

“If you say yes, Nino owes me like two hundred euros.”

Chloe screamed in outrage. “I thought you were joking about those betting pools!”

“Nu-uh,” Adrien said. “Your weird flirty, banter-y, rival, sexual tension thing is hilarious. You’re like Miraculous’s main source of entertainment.”

“Oh, gee, _thanks.”_

 _“_ Don’t worry Adrien,” Marinette smiled sweetly. “She will be thoroughly ravished before the evening is over. I promise.”

“Oh good. Maybe she’ll be in a pleasant mood in the morning.”

“One can only hope.”

“You two are fucking terrible and you’re _both_  paying for my new manicure.”


End file.
